Aunty Claire
by Striped-Tie
Summary: Chris drops his son off at Claire's house for the afternoon. The girl seems to love children, after all. But, oh, how she loves teasing that big brother of hers. I really don't know, just something cute-ish I wanted to write XD
1. Drop Off

A/N;

I really don't know. I heard Dit was meant to be working today, so I'm trying to get back into the habit of writing her rewards for surviving the bra shop of doom xD? Might have to rename it if it goes over 3 chapters, but I doubt it will XD

(Ohs, and a note, I appreciate any votes on my current poll :3)

You should know I don't own Resident Evil by now.

* * *

"Dare I ask what the occasion of _this_ visit, bro?"

Claire had asked the simple question with a tilt of her head, looking at her much taller brother on the doorsteps. She hadn't meant the statement obnoxiously or with a hint of annoyance – No, her smile was proof enough of that.

And really she appreciated getting to see him face to face. He only had a chance to come over to the house every few weeks or so. Whilst his little sister was taking a break from all the mess going on, he was still working hard. Well, she did need to break in the house, after all.

Ah, compensation was a beautiful thing. Even if really a house was lonely – It meant far less conflict that any apartment Claire had lived in thus-far. So far her neighbours actually seemed to like her – With the exception of the one guy across the street, but that couldn't be helped.

But that was something else completely. Chris looked down slightly, to his side, hinting at what would be the reason. Claire followed her brother's gaze, catching sight of the young, brown haired boy beside him, gripping quite tightly onto the older man's pants leg.

Claire's smile grew broader, and she couldn't help but let a slight 'aww' escape from her lips before looking back to her brother.

"You could have called me about this, you know." She stated with a mock pout, placing her hands on her hips. Her brother rolled his eyes at his sister, chuckling at her response.

"Yeah yeah, but he wouldn't be quiet in the car after I told him he was going to be seeing Aunty Claire." He explained, having to lean slightly down to ruffle his son's rather scruffy, brown hair.

"You know that explains nothing at all, Chris." She said, shaking her head. She looked back down to the little boy, before kneeling down to his height. The little boy seemed to perk up a bit with this action, smiling to reflect Claire's own.

"Why don't you go inside and watch TV while I talk to your dad?" She asked sweetly, gesturing as best she could to past the door. "Some of your shows might be on. I'll call you when we're done so you can say by to your mummy and daddy, okay?"

The little boy looked up to his father for confirmation. Chris gave his son a nod, whom in turn let go of him and ran off past Claire, seeking the TV and couch. Claire had watched the little boy go while she stood up, one again 'awwing' at the little tykes behaviour.

"How old is he now?" She asked, still looking over her shoulder as her clambered onto the couch of the lounge room, not too far away.

"About four and a half, last count." Chris answered, watching his small son as well. He was quite thankful that he wasn't being a terror today; something rare from the boy, but thankful for the lack of such none-the-less.

"No wonder he's so cute," Claire cooed, "He looks just like you from the old photo albums!"

"He's got his mother's eyes, though." Chris shrugged as Claire looked back to him. "And, ya know…"

Claire stood on her toes, attempting to look over Chris' shoulder. Having no luck, she looked around him, seeing the car parked outside. "Speaking of which, how is Jill?" She quizzed, noticing her sister-in-law sit contently in the car, eyes closed and resting. Her hair had finally shifted back to its natural brown colours, a lighter shade than Chris, suiting somewhat better than the blonde had.

"She's doing quite fine, fit as a whistle again." Chris answered, turning around. His wife had opened her eyes at that point and looked over at the two. She gave a silent smile and wave, the other two happily returning the action.

"Well that's certainly good to hear, I wish I could say you two've really settled down, but you're still rather wild, aren't you?" She laughed. Her ears picked up the sound of the television flicking, causing her to look around.

The little boy on the couch seemed right at home, making himself comfortable against one of the cushions. He held the TV remote, determined, flicking through channels.

"He's way too cute for his own good, I feel like I'm getting cavities in my teeth just looking at him!" Claire squealed, once again backtracking in the conversation. She couldn't quite help it – She'd always been a fan of children, and the day her nephew was born she was over the moon. She must have driven the dear's parents up the wall with her begging to hold him.

Chris seemed quite contented as she said that, his posture straightening up and chest puffed out. Simple signs of a proud, proud father. "He's certainly the best thing Jill and I ever made together." He stated.

"What a sweet thing to say, shame Jill can't hear it from the car." Claire said with a hint of a smirk, "You never explained what's with the sudden visit, you know."

Chris paused, seeming to lose the slight edge, posture slacking more than it had originally. He scratched the back of his head, looking off to the side. How to word things, how to word things? "Uh well, that's… Uhm."

"Uhm?" Claire imitated, pressuring an answer from her older brother. Awkwardly, he gestured to the car. Jill had gone back to her peaceful, drifted resting.

"Uh, you know." He stated, biting his bottom lip.

Claire paused in a similar manner, thinking about his mumbled words. She perked up, understanding without too much trouble. "Oh. You two need some sexing up."

Chris snapped back to looking at Claire, a disapproving glare hinted in his eyes. "You don't have to put it so bluntly, Claire." He scolded, causing his younger sibling to simply poke her tongue out at him before continuing.

"Oh? Sorry, can't help it if you two really need to do the horizontal mambo, hanky panky, wild monkey dance, fo---" She stated, referring back to a few old slang names for the action she could remember before Chris cut in.

"You'll stop that now if you know what's good for you Lil' Sis!" he pouted, sick of the slight ridicule he was coping for the younger Redfield.

"Oh yeah? What'cha gonna do?" She smirked, turning slightly and nudging him with her elbow, "Ah, don't worry about it, just go and make another little bubby with her. I'm sure Evans could use a little brother or sister to dot on."

"Pushing it, Claire-Bear." He warned, Claire simply waving her hand and dismissing the threat.

"I know I know," She said, apologizing despite her joking manner, "You gonna head off? Poor Jill's falling asleep over there. You want to jump her while she's awake, don't you? Never struck me as a guy was into that sort of thing, bro."

Chris shoved her shoulder playfully, mumbling something under his breath Claire couldn't catch. "Fine, I'll be heading off then."

"I assume you'll be picking him up later tonight?"

"If you don't mind."

Claire turned, calling out to grab the little boy's attention once again. "Evans! Come say goodbye to your dad!" No sooner had she called that, her small nephew had come running, practically tackling his father's legs. Thankfully, the man being built practically like a tank, didn't have any trouble avoiding a fall down the stairs.

"Bye daddy!" Evans bidding goodbye, causing Claire once again to squeal inside. Chris once again ruffled his son's hair before Evans let go of his father. As Chris began walking back to the car, Evans raised his arm and waved to his mum. She'd looked up once again, given a warm smile to her son, and once more waved back before blowing a kiss. The little boy pretended to catch it, before turning and hugging onto Claire.

The two left once the car was started, no doubt back to their own home for some of that special time Claire had been hinting at. She glanced down at Evans, before motioning him to walk back inside. The little guy obeyed, taking a few steps back.

After closing the door, Claire put her hand out for Evans to take hold of. Without hesitation, he reached and grabbed onto her fingers, as she lead him back over to the couch. Sitting down, she was able to get a good look at how much he had grown since he had last visited.

Chris was right – His son had the same eyes as his mother, a lighter shade of blue than his own. Evans' hair was somewhere in the middle of his father's and his mother's natural hair – Lighter than Chris', Darker than Jill's. His curious but patient expression causing Claire to bite her lip, the only thing she could do so she wouldn't melt into a 'dawwww' moment.

The little fella was dressed simply, back sneakers, gray pants and a white shirt. She only just managed to see the thin, golden chain and pendant around his neck.

Clearly the two parents were still arguing about what colours their son should wear… Claire had half a mine of giving the boy a pink shirt before sending him home, just for the laughs of his parent's reactions.

"So Sweetie, what's there you wanna do?"


	2. Snacks

Okay, I might have to drag this out to four chapters... five at the most XD just because I want Claire to take Evans out before he gets picked up, and the next chapter, though short, is chapter worthy itself XDD All I can say is, pity Chris in the next chapter.

Review replies time :3 Thank you everyone who's reviews/faved/alerted this! You guys have no idea how much it helps my esteem ;A;

**Ultimolu** - Thank you very much~ :3

**Namine Redfield** - No problem, I'm happy to explain~, although I must admit I didn't think about it much while writing this! Sorry XD After coming back from Kijuju, Jill bunked up with Chris who wanted to help her settle back into regular life - Or as regular life as their lives can get. As seen coming, two admit to liking each other, and when Jill's quite a bit more comfortable, go off and get married |D About a year after that, wells, Jillers gets preggers with Evans. Both Chris and Jill are still working for the BSAA, but neither are traveling quite as much - More of handling local issues or organizing other people's missions and stuff - Leaves them both enough time to actually start their little family :3 When things get too busy or complicated, Claire looks after Evans (Like in this fic), but they haven't had to do that for quite a long time. Hope that explains it =D

**Ditto9** - Haha, and here's an update just for you, as promised! As long as they're good, then I'm fine with that XD

**Mquin** - Yay, glad to hear~! And thank you! There will be more Chris/Jill, haha... Alas, no Cleon I'm afraid :c Aunt Claire's on her owns XD;

* * *

Evans had been all too content with just sitting back and watching TV with his Aunt. For awhile, at least. He soon grew too bored with the drabble shows on the screen to be entertained. He was far too used to the stories his parents would occasionally tell him – As censored as they were – and really, half the program left him with little to think about. The little boy soon grew restless, fidgeting around and catching Claire's attention.

"What's up?" Claire quizzed after a few moments of this. The boy looked at her, his interest – Or lack there of, one should say – Quite clear on his face.

"M'bored." He sighed, snuggling up on the couch and bringing his knees to his chest. Claire smiled and shook her head, before ruffling the young boy's hair in a similar manner to his father.

"Don't mope Sweetie, it's not the end of the world! It's just general knowledge that kiddie shows these days aren't all that good." Claire stated, noticing the child's pouted lip. She patted him on the shoulder, before getting up from the couch. "What's say we go get something to munch on, then Sweetie?"

The boy smiled brightly, hopping up after her. He didn't say anything, but gave a simple nod, following Claire as she happily strolled over to the kitchen, not too far way. Evan managed to slip in just before the door closed. He followed closely behind her, similar to a baby duck.

"Why don't you go sit down at the table and I'll bring some stuff over?" Claire quizzed happily. The little boy gave a slight whine, grabbing onto Claire's pants leg and cuddling close to her.

"No…" He whimpered, doing his best to look up at her. She gave him a half smile, replying cooingly with an 'okay, okay'. She went to the fridge, struggling a bit with the young boy clinging to her leg.

She managed to juggle getting to the fridge, taking quite a few things out, getting a decent knife, chopping board… All while Evans continued to cling to her leg. Claire couldn't help but feel sorry for Jill – She couldn't imagine how clingy the little boy must have been with her.

Evans tried to watch his Aunty as much as he could, see what she had grabbed, what she was doing… But as he heard her chop away, grabbing a few plates, he had no idea what was going on. She ducked down, nearly accidentally knocking the boy over (Which she quickly apologized for), and grabbed a few packets from the lower cupboard before popping back up.

The little boy weighed his options, and decided to take Claire up on her offer. He happily toddled over to the table in the kitchen, managing just to get himself up on one of the regular sized chairs – A little too tall for him.

He waited some time for Claire to come over, spreading the plates out on the table. Clearly she had some intent to eat as well.

His mouth twisted to a frown somewhat. He shifted on his seat, once again pouted at Claire. She tilted her head, having a bad feeling about it.

"I don't want it…" He mumbled, crossing his arms. Perhaps a bit picky, he didn't want what was in front of him. No, the slices of apples, oranges, watermelon and cherries didn't take his fancy. No, neither did the carrot sticks or tomato. The cheese sticks a little… But he wasn't going to admit that. The almonds and walnuts, too, were a no-no to him.

"Why's that?" Claire asked casually, taking one of the cherries and popping it into her mouth.

"I don't want fruit." He huffed, sinking back in his chair.

"Or vegetables?"

"No vegadabbles."

"Cheese or Nuts, either?"

"No."

"Well then, what do you want, Sugar?" She asked, grabbing one of the few napkins she had brought over with the plates and spitting the cherry's pip into it.

"I want take-out food." He pouted, showing no sign of uncrossing his arms. He was sulking, clear as day.

"… Sorry," Claire apologized, shaking her head, her voice quite firm as she continued. "But I'm not giving you any of that."

"How come?" He whined, uncrossing his arms and leaning onto the table, standing on his seat.

"It's not good for you, that's why." Claire answered simply, grabbing one of the cheese sticks and taking a bite out of it. Evans licked his lips, but quickly snapped out of it.

"But---" Evans once again whined, leaning in further.

"How often do you mum and dad let you eat any?" Claire asked, her voice still somewhat stern but remaining calm and patient all the same. Evans bit his bottom lip, knowing that he couldn't quite lie to his Aunty. She would _know_.

"Not often…" He mumbled quietly in answer. Claire picked it up quite easily however, and nodded.

"They do that for a reason, sweetie." She explained, taking another bite, "Take-out food isn't healthy at all and they want you fit as a fiddle."

"I'll _scream_." Evans huffed, bringing his shoulders up and glaring. As intimidating as he tried, he only managed to look adorable.

"I call your bluff and raise you a carrot stick." Claire smiled broadly, grabbing one of the said food pieces and passing it over to him.

"… Huh?" The boy blinked a few times, mouth parted a fraction. His Aunt's response had caught him off guard to say the least, leaving him unable to translate it. His stance had changed drastically, and there was no way knowing he would go through with what he had threatened.

"Let's compromise." She stated, noticing how confused the little boy was – And in turn, how calm he had become again.

"Co… Pa...?" Evans did his best to repeat the word his aunt had stated, but his young and small vocabulary had no chance. Claire bit her bottom lip, trying to hide her smile at his attempt.

"What I mean is, I'll ask you to do something, and if you do it, I might give you something nice back, sound like a deal?" Claire asked, attempting to keep it as simple as possible for the little boy.

"So… If I eat the fruit, you'll let me have take-away?" Evans asked, tilting his head somewhat and sitting down properly. He wasn't too sure, but he seemed confident in his answer to say the least.

Claire shook her head. "No, close though Sweetie. I'll make you something nice for dinner, okay? Whatever you want."

Once again the boy pouted, looking around. His sweet nature put him off threatening again; he also knew that he couldn't win.

"C'mon, we'll eat together, okay Sugar?" Claire smiled, pushing the plates closer to him. He looked at what was presented, before picking up a slice of apple and taking a bite from it – His expression showing mock pain. Claire chuckled and rolled her eyes, grabbing a slice of watermelon and taking a big chomp out of it.

He chewing the apple slowly, putting the rest of it down and grabbing a slice of watermelon instead, following Claire's lead. He opened his mouth as wide as he could, taking the biggest bite his small frame would allow.

"Monkey see Monkey do, huh?" Claire laughed, leaning over the table to nudge Evans' shoulder. The little boy giggled in returned, having to cover his mouth to make sure none of the melon's juice dribbled down his chin.

The two sat eating happily for a few minutes, Evans copying nearly every of Claire's moves. Eventually the little boy lowered his head, grabbing his Aunt's attention. Before she could ask what was wrong, he spoke up – Quietly, however.

"Aunty Claire…?" He asked softly, not raising his head but looking up to her.

"Yessum Sugar?" Claire asked, looking away from her food and listening patiently.

"… I'm sorry." He said just as quietly as he had before, still not looking up.

"For what?"

"… Being bad." He answered, looking off to his side. Claire gave a soft smile, leaning over the table once again and putting a hand under his chin, lifting his gaze to hers.

"… That's okay. Thank you for apologizing, Evans." She said sweetly, honestly quite thankful for it. She had seen quite a number of children refuse to back down, let alone say sorry with meaning. Her brother and sister-in-law were clearly doing quite a wonderful job with their little boy. She only _wished_ more people would take notes.

"I know but…"

"Honey, I've been around the block. I've seen kids screaming their lungs out, thrashing around, kicking and hitting, just for not getting something like a chocolate bar. Frankly you're an angel Evans, so don't worry." She explained to him, giving the boy a reassuring pat on the head. He smiled slightly as his Aunty sat back down, "Though I should warn you, try anything I just said other kids do… And that mum of yours will tan your hide red, and that's a literal meaning to Redfield you don't need."

"I'll be good!" The boy chirped, nearly cheered, sitting up straight with his hands in his lap, smile only growing wider at his Aunt's approval.

"That's M'boy! Now why don't you keep on eating? I'm gonna go grab us something to drink." Claire recommended, getting up from her seat. She could see Evans hesitated for a moment before nodding, and grabbing a few of the things left on the plates.

She contently strolled over to the fridge, grabbing a jug of now icy water and putting it on the bench. Grabbing two glasses, she poured a decent amount into each before looking over her shoulder at her nephew.

Claire paused, watching Evans eat. It seemed once he got the taste for the natural things, he'd sweetened up to the idea, even without resorting to mimicking her. He basically played shuffle, picking up a slice of watermelon, then grabbing a bit of carrot, soon scoffing down some of the almonds while he was at it.

It was at that point that Claire felt a slight prang of worry. It dawned on her, that having rarely been the one to supply food for her him, she couldn't quite remember if he happened to have allergies to anything he might be munching on at that point in time. She really should have found out first, especially with those few types of nuts set out.

_Better go give those two a call, just in case…_ She thought to herself, dropping off the glasses at the table before heading out to the lounge room, Evans watching her all the while.


	3. You're doing what!

A/N;

Review replies time haha, because I can't think of any Author Notes here :3

**Ditto9** - Baaah, I really should stop spoiling my fics for you xD! you know half of the next chapter of Je M'en Fous after all XDD And as you know, draw away, lol XD

**Ultimolu **- Hope this was quick enough for you, hehe X3 And thank you again!

**KT324 **- Thank you =3 I reckon Claire would make a good mum, and an amazing aunty, haha XD Updated, once again hope it was soon enough~.

* * *

The phone line rung once… Twice… Thrice? … Seven times, eight times, nine times… Before it finally rung out.

Claire pouted, looking at the phone in her hands as she paced back and forth, close by the kitchen door. With a sigh, she reluctantly dialed the home number of her brother, and waiting for the ringing again. Just as before, it rung out.

Not one to be defeated so easily, she quickly pressed a different set of numbers, in a sequence that matched the mobile of her brother. Crossing one arm over her stomach, she leaned against the wall, waiting patiently. By all means, the two had to be home – It had been some time since they had left, after all. Even being stuck in traffic wouldn't count for such a long absence.

"Hello?"

_About time._

"Took you long enough." Claire stated, a hint of a laugh in her voice. For whatever reason, she could hear hesitation in her brother's own. "Where the heck are you?"

"Uh, Home…"

"Why didn't you answer the home phone?"

"I didn't hear it ring. I barely heard the mobile."

Claire raised a brow at this. She remembered the home phone being exceptionally loud, even from the room furthest way from it. Unless you had music or something very noisy going on, you'd be more likely to not hear a gong being hit.

"Well then, what are you doing?" Claire asked, letting Chris pick up her suspicion. She could hear him once again hesitate, trying to think of an answer. Wondering what in the world he could be doing was stirring her curiousity.

"Nothing important…" He answered eventually, sounding as if his mouth had gone dry.

_"Bullshit!!"_

"Dammit Jill, don't hit!"

Claire stifled a giggle, hearing her brother shoot off a whine at his wife's rather physical argument. "Sounds like you got your hands full over there, I feel kinda bad for calling."

"Uh… You could say that…" He mumbled under his breath.

"Alright, you're making my mind do somersaults at the moment, Chris. You've got a lot of explaining to do when you pick Evans up. Now before I go back off subject…" Claire trailed off as she heard something a bit out of place.

Something resembling a groan, a pant, whine… A hint of a gasp. All mixed together, quieted down as if to try and hide it from Claire's ears.

"Uh, Claire…?" The pause had gone on for quite some time, and it unnerved Chris a bit. Had his little sister gathered that---

"Y, you're having sex, aren't you?!" Claire spat down the phone, causing Chris to, as best as he could, move the phone a fraction away from his now pained ear.

"C-Claire, stay on subject!" Chris barked, though was clearly caught off guard by her observation. _Correct_ observation, one should add. He should have known – His kid sister was a smart cookie. Unfortunately.

"How can I stay on subject while you're fucking your wife while talking to me?!" The younger Redfield sibling yelled, flailing her free arm about, "Chris, seriously, not cool! Not cool at all!!"

"Listen here little sis, one day w---" Chris had begun, but his words quickly turned to an unintelligent shout, a loud thud being heard quickly after. Claire, still taken aback by the whole thing, hadn't even realised that Jill had taken the phone.

"Hey there Dear, what's up?" Jill greeted, or rather purred. Claire slowly managed to snap out of her stunned trance, Jill waiting quite patiently for her to do as such.

"… You sure sound, uh… Fulfilled…" Claire stated awkwardly, regretting it within moments.

"Mm… Best word to use there, Claire."

"Ew."

Jill simply laughed in return. It was like some sort of hierarchy had been created when she married into family – Claire unnerved and embarrassed Chris, and Jill did just that to Claire when the opportunity arose. All in family fun, or course – She cared for Claire like a sister. Which was certainly a good thing; considering how close-knit this said family happened to be.

"Can I ask how you got the phone…?" Claire asked a few moments later, having regained her composure. Jill hummed for a moment again before answer.

"Oh, it was pretty simple. I just shoved your brother out and off me," Jill answered, inducing a gag from Claire. Jill looked over the side off the bed, her husband pouting at her from his uncomfortable seat on the ground. She simply gave him a sly smile, before continuing her conversation with Claire, "You might want to hurry up. Your brother gets awfully grumpy when he's horny and denied."

"Gross gross gross gross…" Claire squeaked, covering her eyes and trying her best to disallow the mental image from entering her mind. "Oh god, it burns, so much… No-one's meant to see their brother like that, nooo…"

"Please Claire, before he decides to jump me again." Jill sighed, then paused, her voice taking on more of a serious, mother tone. "Is this about Evans?"

At the mention of her nephew's name, Claire managed to snap herself back to normal… Again. She gave a slight nod, even if it couldn't be see, "Yeah, it is actually."

Jill sat up straight on the bed, crossing her legs and listening careful, her mother instincts kicking into full drive. "What's wrong? Has something happened?"

The mother's tone sent a chill down Claire's spine. "Oh, no no no… It's nothing like that. At least I hope not. It's kind of embarrassing to ask, but… Is Evans allergic to anything? Uhm, I know I should have asked Chris before he left, actually I should know to begin with, but…"

She heard Jill breath a sigh of relief, no doubt unwinding herself from the worry. "No, no thankfully he's not…" She answered, shaking her head, "Although, his tummy has been a little sensitive lately… As long as you don't give him anything too heavy, he'll be fine."

"Apples, oranges, watermelon, cherries, almonds, walnuts and carrots?"

"That's perfect for him, stop fretting." Jill assured her sister-in-law warmly. "Is there anything else?"

"Nah, that was it. I'm really sorry to bother you." Claire apologized, then tensed up slightly, "Especially during _that._"

"It's fine, Claire." Jill stated, "If it concerns my son, it takes full priority."

"Alright, I'll let you go then," Claire said, breathing another sigh of relief. Jill bid a quick farewell before Claire hung up, before Claire tossed her phone across the room and onto the couch. What perfect aim she seemed to have.

Still on the Redfield bed, however… Jill had just set Chris' phone onto the bedside drawer before stiffening. She waited a moment, tempted to look over her shoulder.

"I can feel you staring and me, babe." She stated slowly, turning just a fraction to see Chris back on his side of the bed, a clear smirk on his face.

"Honey…"

"Mm?"

"_**Roar!!**_"

She barely had any time to squeal before being pounced on, the poor thing – Although clearly she didn't mind the quite forward attention her husband was paying her. One would have to guess that's what happens when someone denies a couple their lovin' for too long. Oh dear.

Across town, back at Claire's house, however…

Claire placed a hand over hear heart, mumbling a few words of thanks that she hadn't screwed up and gotten her poor nephew ill. She would never have forgiven herself for being so careless if that had happened.

"Aunty Claire, what's sex?"

_OH SHIT. _Claire jumped about a mile in the air as she looked to the left, seeing the little boy in question standing quite innocently, looking up at her with a curious expression. Her jaw had dropped, the question registering in her mind. _Oh hell no. There's no way I'm fielding this one. Why couldn't he have asked me when he was eight or something?! That's when they always ask!!_

"You don't want to know what that is Sweetie!" She stated, having trouble stripping the panic and surprise from her voice.

"Yes I do!" her little nephew replied, placing his hands on his hips defiantly.

"No you don't."

"Aunty, I do!"

"You don't want to know what it is. You want to watch Tales from the Crypt." Claire stated blankly, barely even having to think of the solution.

"I want to watch Tales from the Crypt!" The boy chirped in response, having no real idea what the thing was, but hey. Claire quickly managed to get herself off the floor, patting the boy on the back and gesturing back to the lounge room. The little boy happily ran to the couch, Claire following after. She kneeled down below the TV, which sat on a cabinet, and caused quite a bit of noise before finding the right DVDs, setting it up for Evans.

She grabbed the remotes from beside and turned everything on. Evans ended up jumping a fraction at the sound of the maniacal laugh on the TV, but seemed to sink back to a very interested state as Claire started up one of the episodes, retreating back to the kitchen to go clean up.

She could just manage to hear from where she was, having left the door open. She recognized the episode straight away – The series was one she watched nearly as much as her soap operas.

'Vampires say life sucks, mummy takes the wrap after years in denial, and illiterate zombies insist they're better dead than read.'

She couldn't help but smile as she heard Evans laugh at a dumb joke he was probably far too young to understand. Her little nephew just seemed that adorable to her, and she was as thankful as all hell she didn't have to explain the birds and the bees to him.

That would be his dad and mum's job.

* * *

A/N;

I actually find this exceptionally entertaining because in Grand Guignol, Claire's about as much of a voyeur as Wesker is. Actually, there's a point in a chapter of that where Chris has to actually threaten, and then bribe her to stop watching… XD But that's another story for a different publication date!

Oh, and I love Tales from the Crypt :3 I was watching it when I was a little older than Evans here, I think. Not realizing what sex was back then, I was okay watching most of the episodes, so he'll be fiiine XD And he seems like a kid that can handle all the blood in the series, haha.


	4. It's a Redfield Thing

A/N;

Booyah! Managed to keep with my Daily update! Sure it's 1:05am... But this still counts XP

**Ditto9 - **Haha no worries, I think I did as well XD I sure know my Niece started at an early age. What a time for him to ask, haha. Haha glad you enjoyed it XD Think of it as my apology for not being able to write lemons yet ;A;

**Ultimolu** - Eek, don't die XD! I don't get many reviewers, I like to keep them alive XD!

**KT324 -**Haha, yep XD Odd how Jill didn't seem to mind so much, haha. Ah, making people think other people are weirdos, one person at a time! That's my job XDD Claire, she has a knack for those sorts of things X3

**Mquin** - As stated above, getting people to receive those sorts of looks is my job XD Evans is her bubbeh, she's gotta be serious :3 ... For awhile, at least XD And here ya go, hope this wasn't too late XD

* * *

"You know, if you down anymore of that stuff, you're going to give yourself a tummy ache." Claire warned, though as usual was unable to hide her smile.

Evans had just knocked back what would be his third, large glass of milk. He was kneeling down at the coffee table, his eyes still fixed on the TV as yet another episode for Tales from the Crypt played out.

He didn't even seem to acknowledge his Aunty's statement, instead holding his glass up high above his head. "Can I have another one please, Aunty Claire?"

Claire chuckled slightly, having no real reason to turn down his request. Who knew how much the little boy could handle – He could certainly hold his milk. Claire was more preoccupied with the hope that such a tolerance would be passed onto any form of alcohol.

"Aunty?" Evans looked over his shoulder, pouting slightly as he had many times that day. He just really liked milk, that was all.

"Sorry Sweetie, just a second."

She'd grabbed the large jug off the coffee table, pouring the liquid close to the brim of the young boy's glass before refilling her own. No sooner had it stopped flowing had Evans brought the glass back to his mouth, slurping down the calcium filled goodness.

Claire really wasn't one to judge on this. After all, most small children seemed to like milk. That was natural, one could say. Even though as far as Claire knew, Evans hadn't been… Uh, bottle fed when he was even smaller than what he happened to be now. She had put his milk loving down to such, but this little visit filled her with quite a bit of pride.

It was definitely a Redfield thing.

Herself and her older brother were relatively close to being milk addicts themselves. Most people wouldn't get it – As stated, it was a Redfield thing. The little trooper sitting at the coffee table was without a doubt in the ranks.

Claire eyed her nephew quickly, before looking back to the TV. She was certainly glad that he wouldn't be remembering, or understanding most of the things said throughout the episode. It wasn't one of the worst episodes… Rather, it was one herself and Chris had watched when they were younger, and the show was actually being broadcasted.

"Aunty Claire?"

"Do you need another refill?" Claire asked, glancing over at her nephew. Evans shook his head, wiping some milk from his mouth with the back of his hand.

"No, Aunty."

"Then what is it, Sugar?"

"Uhm. I want a little sister." He stated, waiting for some sort of confirmation from his Aunty, who only managed to raise a brow in response, "I told mummy and daddy that. They said they might try if there get the time. Do you know where you buy babies, Aunty?"

Claire managed to suppress a laugh, biting her bottom lip in some attempt to help. Well, at least it was a better variation of the question?

"Buy?" She asked, snorting somewhat as she asked, "You wanna know where to buy a baby?"

Evans nodded quickly, innocently in response, humming a slight 'yes' and hoping that his Aunt did have a thought to carry on with an answer. She put a hand over her mouth, looking down slightly. Over her giggles, she was back to her cooing.

"So you want to know where the baby store is?" She asked somewhat quietly, not really sure how to continue on with it.

"Uhm..." the young boy thought once again, before shaking his head, "No, I've seen baby stores. But you can't buy the babies in the stores… They have baby clothes and cots and beds and toys but no babies.

"… You are _way_ too adorable for your own good, bubby Redfield." She squealed, confusing the little boy by far more degrees.

"Huh?" He'd tilted his head a fraction, looking as if he was fretting by what she had said. She hadn't actually given him an answer. Claire managed to straighten herself up, clearing her throat and dusting off her shirt to try and settle herself down.

"C'mon Sweetie, if your mum and dad said they were going to get you a baby sister, they'll get you a baby sister, so don't worry. Your dad always keeps his promises." She assured him, making the little boy smile once again. This time she paused for a few moments, surprise taking her for a moment, "Hey, Sweetie, Why do you want a little sister anyway? Wouldn't you rather have a little brother? You know, be all rough and tumble with when he's bigger?"

Evans thought Claire's question over for a moment, before shaking his head with a surprising amount of enthusiasm. "Nope! I want a little sister!"

"How come?" she asked, rather surprised with his answer. She rarely heard any little boys asking for little _sisters_, especially these days.

He paused once again, raising a finger to his lips and looking to the side as he thought. Claire bit the back of her hand, once more 'Awwing' over the adorable poses her nephew unconsciously pulled.

"Because you're Daddy's little sister, and you're cool." He answered, tilting his head to the side slightly with a grin, "So if I have a little sister, she'll be cool like you!"

"Naww, you're such a little suck-up!" Claire chirped, clasping her hands together. Evans had no idea what that meant, but his Aunty seemed happy enough, so it couldn't have been that bad… Right?

"You're sure I'm gonna get a little sister?" He asked, looking rather worried for a moment, his bottom lip quivering. Claire raised her hand beside her, placing the other over her chest.

"I swear your parents are definitely, definitely working on it." She stated, looking to the side, "Scout's Honour."

Evans smiled once again, nodding and turning back to the TV. He frowned, seeing the credits roll. He looked off the left, able to peek a little bit through the clear window He stared for a few moments, before looking back curiously at Claire once more.

"Aunty Claire, can we go outside?"

"Guess so, Sugar."

"Yay!" the little boy's cheer was genuine, throwing his hands up as he hollered. They soon fell back to his sides as he turned back to the coffee table, grabbing his glass and chugging down what was left of his milk.

Claire cringed slightly, seeing most of it dribble down her nephew's chin, and further onto his shirt. "Honey, stop, stop!"

Evans pulled the glass away for a moment, though there was very little point. It was already empty, having drunk half of it, and the rest of that half sinking into his shirt. "Did I do something Aunty?"

Claire sighed heavily shaking her head and smiling faintly. She got up off her seat, walking behind the boy and tapping him on the shoulders. He looked up at her, with rather bright eyes, before standing up.

"Come on Sweetie, we have to go get you cleaned up before I can take you outside in the sun." She stated with a slight smirk. The little boy quickly frowned upon hearing this.

"Nooo…"

Before he could rebuttal any further, Claire grabbed his wrist, dragging the little boy out of the lounge room and heading for the bathroom. It was probably my most resistance he had put up throughout the entire time he had been there; Heels digging in the carpet and everything.

"Fight all you want Sweetie, the water's still going to there when we get to the bathtub!"

"I hate baths!!"

* * *

A/N;

You know, I can so see Claire acting like a tomboy when she was little. Beating the shit out of Chris since he probably couldn't fight back without being told off XD (Apparently I did that to my sister… Whoops.)

I also have a mental image of Evans trying to pick a little baby out of a pram and being told off by Chris XD


	5. Hide & Seek & Sleep

A/N;

Sorry for the wait on this, fellas! After my exams I just totally collapsed haha.

Merry Christmas? Happy Boxing Day? I tried to get Je M'en finished for Christmas, but seeing no hope of doing so, I decided to finish this instead XD Unfortunately I wasn't able to finish it at a time I wanted to (3:22am on Boxing day for me instead of during Christmas D; ) but, hopefully enjoy.

**Ditto9 – **Hanging out with the lads is great 8D As long as they don't realised you're not one of the lads XD It's because Claire knows she's awesome X3

**Ultimolu – **Cheek pinching time, haha XD Let's not bruise him!

**Multiverse Fan – **I hope you didn't bruise yourself XD Haha, as long as Claire doesn't mind babysitting some more, her certainly might X3

**KT324 – **Thank you X3 I've always wondered what little kids think of those sorts of things. Here's hoping Evans' on the right track xD

**Mquin – **Ironically I think I used to like them. Now I'm just like 'NOAS WATER DX!'.

**Namine Redfield – **Very happy to hear so~ :)

**Cloudtail4ever – **Claire would make a GREAT babysitter, if she would just stop losing the kids XDDD Glad I'm not the only one who's thought about it!

* * *

"Evans, I know you're in here."

A couch cushion was thrown across the room, despite the action offering no help what-so-ever. No, he certainly wasn't under the pillow… Oh come on, how did she not know that? Claire hopped onto the uncovered couch structure, springs squeaking slightly under her weight. She looked over the back, spotted nothing.

She jumped over the back, dropping to the ground and looking under the couch. No, clear again. Nothing but a few dust bunnies, a few hair-clips and--- Hey, that's where her sock was. But if she grabbed it, she would have no excuse to keep wearing odd socks.

She mumbled before pushing herself up to sit on her knees, taking a quick glance around. Still no sight of him… "Don't think you can hide from me, Mister!"

She placed her palm on her face and shook her head. Oh lord, was this just going to keep happening? "Why, why do I _always_ lose kids? I'm not a bad babysitter, I **swear**! They're like eels, so slippery!"

Okay, the lounge room was clear, time to stop moaning. But come to think of it, the last time she looked somewhere else, she heard him running for the place she had just looked. And by the time she had gotten back there, he'd run off somewhere else. He was a sneaky one, he was, but she was getting too tired for this little run around game.

She stood up and trudged over to the hall way, glancing to either end of it. Nothing, absolutely nothing. She couldn't hear a peep out of him, either.

"This is not a game of Gears of War, Evans!" She called, making mental notes to put lots of bubbles in the bath. Lots of them. She may as well find the whole thing entertaining if she had to put up with Evans' attempts of retaliation once she caught him.

"Gears of what?"

"Found you!" Claire practically leapt from where she was, just managing to grab Evans before he had a chance to run off from his little hiding spot behind the couch. Wait. "How did you even get back there?!"

The little boy gave no answer to the question, rather squirming and kicking, squealing unintelligent bouts of gibberish as he tried to wiggle out of Claire's grasp. But when being held above ground, with both of someone's arms wrapped around you in practically a death grip, there was no getting out of it.

"It's time to get soaked in water, Evans, and I'll damn well make sure you wash behind your ears!!"

"Nooooo~!"

* * *

"I hate baths, I **hate** baths…!"

"I know kid, I know. You screamed bloody murder enough for that to be clear." Claire sighed, dumping the towel over Evan's head, rubbing rather roughly to try and get his messy hair dry as much as possible. He put up no fights against that, but Claire was sure she could have easily lost an eye trying to get Evans into the tub. She'd been forced to practically barricade the door, hold the boy down with one arm, and scrub him clean with the other.

And she had to do that a number of times. Every couple of minutes there would be loud, rather urgent knocking at the door. The conversation was practically the same, despite it being the same neighbour each time.

'I'm sorry to bother you again Claire, but…'

'Yeah, the screaming, I know.'

"…"

'I keep telling you, it's my nephew. He's not content about being clean.'

'If you're sure.'

'If I wasn't, I'd be blood covered by now. And just as a note, if I was a murderer and was asked repeatedly by a neighbour, I wouldn't change my story.'

'…'

'But if I _was_ a murderer, I wouldn't draw attention to that fact either. Now can I please try and get back to it before he clambers out the window again?'

'Yes, sorry dear.'

"You're really mean, Aunty Claire!" Evans whimpered as soon as Claire had moved the towel, the statement only prompting her to move it back.

"Why's that little munchkin? Cause I wanted to make sure you didn't get sick or smell bad from the sun and milk?" She quizzed with a smile, removing the towel once more and ruffling his hair. "Would you prefer that I hosed you down with a super soaker?"

"Maybe!"

She laughed at this, shaking her head and muttering something quite cheery to herself. "Always good to see kids feel so passionately towards something, even if it's hatred for bath water!"

Evans crossed his arms and huffed, sticking his tongue out. Oh no, he certainly hadn't been happy about anything that had happened. And he couldn't dob her in – His dad usually had just as much of a fight on his hands when he tried to give the boy a bath, so he would probably congratulate Claire on a job well done.

"Do you still want to go out?"

His Aunt's question snapped Evans from his thoughts. He looked up and her, nodding quite enthusiastically with a smile. Yes, he appeared over the whole, traumatic bath incident.

"Well if that's so buddy boy, we're going to have to find you some clothes!" She chirped, and then paused. She'd just thrown Evan's shirt in the wash, and… Chris hadn't left anything for his son to wear. Nothing at all. Come to think of it he hadn't left anything. _Way to go, Chris, way to go. Were you in that much of a rush today?_ She paused and shuddered. After that phone call, she could see the high possibilities that she was right.

As she had paused to think about this, however, Evans had taken then initiative to run off in hunt of some clothes himself. As soon as Claire realised this, she swore loudly and ran off to try and find him. Again.

* * *

"That's too big for you, honey."

"Don't care."

"And Stripes don't look too good on you.

"Don't care."

"You'll slip on the sleeves if you don't be careful."

"Don't care."

"You sure you don't just want to wait until your shirt's finished in the wash?"

"Don't want it!"

"Alright Mr. Fussy, but I don't think your dad's gonna let you go home in my jumper."

Evans seemed comfy enough, even if Claire's prediction did seem highly likely. Although he had gotten a stern talking to about why not to do so ever again, Evans had managed to find his way to Claire's closet and spent some time rummaging through it, definitely not wanting to wear that damn white shirt of his. He seemed quite more comfortable in a jumper of Claire's he had found. Striped, white and light purple, and certainly very fluffy and warm. Naturally, the sleeves were far too long, and the hood on it as well was big for him, covering his eyes if brought over.

Frankly, Claire was just happy that he had only searched the left side of the closet, not the right. Oh, she might have been in a bit of trouble if that had happened.

Claire grabbed hold of one of the sleeves before the boy could run off, certainly too tired to be chasing after the little guy again. He turned, and offered a pout, pointing to the house's front door. He seemed quite eager to actually get out of the house, which didn't surprise her. He had been cooped up for quite awhile now, and had just endured the dreaded bath. Reluctantly, she let going, knowing he wouldn't try anything. At least she hoped he wouldn't.

Evans made it to the door, that he did, but after standing for a few moments he simply leaned slightly, and sunk down to the ground. Claire had to blink a few times, a little confused by what had just happened, before dashing over to him, giving a quick shout of his name.

She knelt down beside her nephew, holding a hand just a few centimeters away from Evans face. Well he was still breathing. But he'd just _dropped_. She was just about ready to be kicked into a slight panic mode when the little tyke began to snore lightly. "Yoohoo, Mister?" She shook his shoulder lightly, the boy barely stirring, "You awake at all m'boy? Even in the slightest? … Sweetie? Oh, he's out cold!"

Claire bit her bottom lip, trying her best not to laugh. She remembered hearing stories about Chris doing the same thing when he was very young, or at least similar – Except, he was often found asleep at the fridge with a carton of milk in hand. She'd have to ask Jill if Evans did the same thing when she got to see her next.

"So it looks like we couldn't go to the park today. That's okay, maybe next time. The kids that are out today are usually little jerks anyway." Claire smiled, picking Evans up carefully, doing her best not to wake him up. He was out like a light, so no harm there. She hummed quietly, carrying the little fella off to her bed where he'd get better sleep than the floor or couch.

* * *

Claire sat on the couch, having practically reconstructed it, with her legs crossed and content with watching her soap operas. The Adolescent and the Tired. Oh, how she did love this series, even if she had missed the last few episodes. But Joey and Sammy were on a plane, off to get married in Hawaii. Deep down Claire was hoping there would be a plan crash, and Joey would survive. Yes, there was something about Sammy that just really made her annoyed.

She took a glance away from the TV as an ad finally started up, giving her a small break. She stood up, and stretched, jolting as she heard the doorbell ring. She quickly looked to the hallway, before to the door, tiptoeing over. "Please don't have woken him up… Please don't have woken him up…"

She opened the door quickly and brought a finger to her lips, hissing a loud 'shhhh'. Chris stood on the doorstep with Jill, a brow of his risen. Claire looked at him sternly, repeating the loud shush. "He's asleep," She huffed, stepping away from the doorframe to let them in.

"What do you mean he's asleep?" Chris asked, walking in, only to receive another shush from his younger sister. Although this time it was meant in jest.

"I mean he's zonked it, out of energy, all curled up in blankets." She explained, pointing off down the hall to where her room happened to be. "I guess a bath and a full stomach managed to put him to sleep."

"A… Bath? You managed to give him a bath?" Chris asked while appearing quite shocked about the fact.

"Yeah, and I can tell you, it wasn't easy." Claire stated, leaning against the wall. She was still somewhat soaked from the whole ordeal, and would no doubt catch a cold later.

Jill was quietly admiring Claire's house as the discussion went on, or rather how well kept it was. Being unbelievably messy must have been kept to the male side of the Redfield family tree.

"I can't believe you managed to give him a bath…" Chris whispered, clearly very surprised. It was always a struggled for him, he never imagined his sister being capable of it.

"Should we come back later to get him?" Jill quizzed, snapping both Redfield siblings from their thoughts. Claire turned and thought it over for a moment, before shaking her head.

"You'd be able to carry him out without waking him up, right?" Claire asked, to which Jill nodded in reply. With that, Claire lead Jill off to the room, so she could pick up her son – Something which Chris might have been a bit too clumsy to do without waking the child up.

It hadn't taken them too long, less time than what Chris would have expected, so he was rather surprised when his son's white shirt was shoved into his hands.

"Here, don't worry about changing him. It'd just be cruel to wake him up for that, he seems too peaceful." Claire said, nodding towards the sleeping Evans, carried quite well by Jill, "Probably dreaming of dinosaurs with machine guns and lasers."

"Ah, Dinoriders, those were the days…" Chris smirked, remembering right back to things he watched when younger. Ah, but there would always be time to introduce his little boy to such things, even if they were made of such incredible amounts of win.

"I know what you mean. I remember sitting in our Pjs, even at three in the afternoon, eating toast and watching those episodes on TV." Claire shook her head, quite fond of it.

"Evans baby, go back to sleep, you'll be home soon."

"Alright mummy…"

Both Chris and Claire glanced over to Jill, who was trying to coax her son back to sleep. His hand had gripped his mother's shirt, though his hold was rather loose due to the long sleeves over his hands. Regardless, he drifted back to sleep without any hassle, seeming quite comfortable in his mother's arms.

"I'm sorry Claire, I don't mean to be rude but…" Jill began, but Claire shook her head, waving a hand in dismissal

"Don't worry, I don't mind at all." She assured her sister-in-law, before shoving Chris' shoulder. "Go on! If you don't get him home to bed, he'll just be Mr. Grumpy pants when he wakes up. If he's anything like his dad, at least."

"Hardy ha, Claire." Chris mocked, though chuckled soon after. "Thanks little sis, I owe you for today."

"_Hardly_, it was just nice to see my little nephew again!" She stated before pausing, "… Though I did tell him you two were trying to get him a little sister."

"No pressure there." Jill muttered, taking a glance at Chris, who seemed rather happy hearing this. She looked back to Claire, a slight smirk on her face, "I do hope you know you've just volunteered yourself into babysitting more often."

"Fine by me." Claire stated.

Goodbyes were had as the three left, Claire settling back down on her couch. She'd missed her show, but another soap was starting up. Leaning back against the couch, she grunted, mumbling something to herself quickly after.

"I know, I know. As much as I'd like to say 'I'd like my own', the good thing about baby sitting is the fact you can give them back at the end of the day." With that, she took one last glance towards the bathroom, and started making mental notes about how to make baths easier to go about.

The super soaker idea wasn't too bad.


End file.
